Funny, but I'd forgotten all about this blog! Now, with a bit more time on my hands because of the chemo treatments, I've come back to the Standing Still Experiment blog and the Bright Side of the Road blog AND I've created a few others as well.
So... there's a lot of catching up to do here, eh?
In the last year and a half, I've lost about 25 pounds. Yee-ha! Of course I am delighted about this. I can wear my next size down jeans now and one size smaller underwear. I still have about 20 more to go maybe, before people will really notice.
The interesting thing is that since I've started chemo (end of September), I've lost 6 of those 25 pounds. It is coming off steadily now. And to think the biggest thing I was afraid of when I realized I was going to "do" chemo again was how much weight I would GAIN! Because, back in 2002, when I went thru the chemo and radiation, I GAINED 30 pounds. And frankly, I do not want to GAIN any of it back.
I know you might be thinking that I should maybe be more worried about my LIFE and getting rid of CANCER than fretting over gaining weight. NOT! And I find it interesting to take a step back and notice this myself.
However, let me say something about that. I had a medium-sized tumor in my left breast, secondary angiosarcoma, very rare and only as a result of the radiation I received for breast cancer in 2002. On July 25, 2011, my surgeon removed the tumor (along with what was left of my sadly deformed and bruised left breast). He got "clean and generous margins." Plus, my PET scan was completely clear. The only reason I chose to have chemo is the "just in case" factor. I am pretty certain that there was no cancer left inside of me after the surgery, but I kindof wanted to cover all bases.
So, in light of that, I don't feel like I am "fighting for my life" or anything like that. This is a proactive, precautionary action I am taking just to "be sure." Not that we can ever be sure, exactly, but... you know what I mean?
Anyway, it appears that my stomach gets wonky a few days after a treatment and stays that way for 3-4 days afterwards, during which time I am extremely limited in what I can eat- toast, sugary cereal, chicken soup, eggs, plain chicken, white rice, english muffins, plain bagels, peanut butter, white bread, plain pasta, jello... that is what my "diet" consists of half the time lately.
Not that I am "dieting," mind you. This is simply what my body is asking for. Simple foods, not much fiber, plain, no spices. And I am complying as best I can. It goes against everything I've been learning about food and nutrition and healthy eating, believe me, but I am learning, still, to be gentle with myself, and forgiving and patient and above all, kind....
I know that this is a side effect, for me, of the chemo I am receiving. I know that it will not last, being limited to these simple and light food selections. Come next February when these poisons stop being poured into my body, my body is going to start craving (and be able to tolerate) normal foods again and I'll be able to start walking every day again and I will feel stronger and more "normal" again.
In the meantime, I am just taking this journey one day at a time, giving my body what it needs (which sometimes is only water), and watching the scale go down, one pound at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment