I was reading something the other day (Sanaya Roman's book, Living with Joy), and it reminded me about the power of gratitude, not just in our everyday lives, but the power to change our bodies as well.
To be honest, most of the time my inner self-talk regarding my body is not highly positive, or remotely positive at all. It's more judgmental, berating, putting down. As in:
- I can't believe my stomach is still this big even tho I've lost weight
- I hate my stomach and I wish it would get smaller.
- What is wrong with my digestive system that I keep getting diarrhea?
- My legs are still big too.
- Damnit, I want to wear another size smaller jeans, why can't I?
- My hips are still huge?
- The breast that remains is too big.
And so on... you get the picture.
Anyway, I am playing around with the idea of saying "Thank you" to my body more often. To turn around those damning statements above into comments of appreciation and pleasure. After all, my body is doing FINE work getting me through these chemo treatments, and why shouldn't I be appreciative?
Yesterday afternoon and into the evening, I was experiencing the heavy achiness in my body/muscles all over. Ugh. "Flulike symptoms" is what the chemo brochures all say. Anyway, it usually lasts all through the weekend and doesn't go away entirely until Monday morning.
However, last night on my way to sleep, I said THANK YOUs out loud to my body like this:
- Thank you for getting me safely through 7 chemos.
- Thank you for being strong and healthy.
- Thank you for showing me what to eat and what to not eat.
- Thank you for my strong legs and feet which carry me where I need to go.
- Thank you for processing all the food I put in my mouth.
- Thank you for the healing you produced in me after the mastectomy.
- Thank you that my immune system is strengthening and returning to normal every day.
And so on. You get the picture! It's a brighter, healthier, happier one than the other things I've been saying to my body, that's for sure.
Now here's the thing. Today I woke up and the achiness was completely gone. I just feel a little tired, that's all, which is highly unusual for a Saturday-morning-after-chemo kindof day. So I am expressing gratitude to my body once again.... and I am hoping to make this a continual habit.