My Bodacious Body

Ok, so I've just changed the title of this blog from "Journey to Self-Acceptance" to "My Bodacious Body." Ah. I like the ring of this much better. Of course, I still am on a journey to self-acceptance of my bodacious body, but still... I want this blog to emphasize the physical me, the body I've been given for this physical earth journey.

Right now, checking in, I am pretty happy with my body. I have been through 6 chemo treatments since the end of September and I am in awe of how strong my body is. My intestinal tract and stomach have been having some "wonky" issues (mainly the D word- diarrhea) but I haven't gotten a cold or the flu which means my immune system is still strong and healthy.

My body weight is going down, down, down, although not too quickly. And even though the cost is a wonky stomach, I have to admit that I am pretty happy about this. Like- majorly happy.

When the chemo is over, I am going to have the plastic surgeon at Lahey in Burlington do a sizable reduction of my right breast. Probably in March 2012. None of the 30 lbs. I've lost in the last 18 months has come off of my top half (except for when I had the mastectomy in July!). So I am looking forward to "downsizing" my chest.

Of course I am afraid that when the chemo is over I'll go back to overeating just because I CAN... and put all the lost weight back on again. But maybe not. The more I notice what is going on inside of me emotionally, the more I have control over what I eat or don't eat. The more I take care of myself, love myself unconditionally with radical self-kindness.... the more I don't need to depend on food to keep me company or stuff down difficult feelings.

So, listen up, dear body of mine! I am committed to caring for you, day by day, hour by hour. Thank you for supporting me through these tedious chemo treatments. Thank you for making my heart to beat and my lungs to inhale and exhale. Thank you for processing the food I give you, even when it might not be the best for us. Thank you for my strong legs and arms, and for sturdy feet which move me wherever I want to go. Thank you for my healthy brain which continues to thrive on new ideas and creative passion.