Easter Dinner Buffet

I definitely ate more than usual yesterday at dinner at Jan's house. BUT... I ate less than I usually do at these dinners. And I only ate what I really wanted to eat- scalloped potatoes and chicken and the green bean casserole and lots of fresh steamed green beans. Ok, so I had half of one of Keith's chocolate chip cookies with the oreo in the middle. I think that that is what was one thing too many. I was going to bring my meringue cookies so that when I wanted something sweet to eat afterwards, I would have something non fat and non gluten. But there you go. I forgot.

I didn't even want to go. Would have been much happier staying at home and eating more simply. Made a really good red lentil soup on Saturday and would have been happy eating that with some GF crackers. Oh well. As much as I THINK that I will eat less at these family dinners, it just does not seem to happen.

So I am starting to practice mindfulness around not just my eating but everything. And if I can get myself to several points of stillness throughout my days... where I can stop, Stand Still, pause and say "This is me and I am ______" filling in the blank with what I am doing or feeling, then when I actually DO that, I feel whispers and streams of peace flowing over me and infiltrating the old harsh voices.

For instance: pause.... breath in... breath out... this is me writing and feeling happy about writing

or

pause... breath in.... breath out.... this is me feeling angry because my brother-in-law just took over the kitchen when I had things under control (yesterday afternoon)

or

pause... breath in... breath out.... this is me feeling sad becasue our marriage is changing and I didn't want it to change (yesterday morning)

Etc.